Drunk Client On the Line

Where is [attorney]? Who are you? You aren't a lawyer, are you? This is his little brother from Palm Beach. I went to St. Christopher's School, UNC, Harvard Law. I was #1 on the Harvard Law Review. Harvard Business. I was a Commander in Viet Nam. Now I'm a Marine General.

[assistant congratulates him on his achievements].

Don't congratulate me. That was nothing! Listen! When an intelligent man is talking to you, do NOT comment!

[assistant replies: my father was intelligent and I used to make comments to him.]

Well, that was your father. Do not comment on it! It's what I did! It's what I thought was important!... [pause]. Wait a minute. a truck is comin' by...

When will he be back?
[in about an hour and a half and I'll have him call you.]

You have him call me immediately! This is important. This is very important!

[okay I will. thank you. good-bye]

legal assistant hangs up.

[another call from same client to attorney]

Little brother, you're making a big mistake. I've been calling you all morning and no one answers your phone. I've got high society in to visit me. #1 in the United States of America. #1 in Europe. I don't know if you're on vacation or whatever, but let me tell you something. Don't you send me a goddamn bill 'cause you're wasting your time. I want action! I want a team! I wanna go against the Force, and you guys are just...what can I say--University of Richmond, University of Virginia - I went to Harvard! I need some respect! Respond to me! Get one of your paralegals to respond to me at least! Come on, man, get in the business. Get with it. This is ridiculous!

hangs up.